I had a number of responses to yesterday's Blog from friends on Facebook.  I think the feedback is essential to carrying on a dialogue that leads to changes and understanding, so that there is not judging.

I purposely left names out.  It is not my duty, task, responsibility to judge, or to tell anyone what to do.  It is my duty though to encourage a Biblical response to the reasons for divorce.  Some times it cannot be avoided.  One of my friends pinned the blame on her husband.  I know in the case of one of my brothers, he was probably the one most at fault, and also my sister.  Yet, usually there is blame on the shoulders of both parties, and we need to admit our own fault, and repent, if we hope to find a restoration of our own self-worth, and perhaps the marriage.  If we choose an easy out, we find it is not so easy.  There will always be the doubts, in our mind and in the mind of others.  I have a friend I am furious with right now.  He left his wife and kids!  Good night!  No matter how bad situations are, they can always get worse, or better.  We have to choose whether to build or destroy.  But, if we destroy without trying to see if the marriage can be salvaged, we will never know if it could have been.

One of my friends specifically asked regarding the abuse issue.  Neither man nor woman facing an abusive, dangerous situation, should stay in the same home.  Whether to pursue divorce:  that is a personal choice.  If you want to be sure you tried, you won't divorce quickly.

Understand, please, that if you are in the middle of this tragic outcome of your marriage, no one should be judging you, any more than you do yourself.  Only, try to make sure you have tried, and then sought advice from someone who has come through it, before you pull the plug.